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Why Do I Keep Doing That!?

 Jun 12, 2006  |   Filed under: Personal  |   Tags: Body & Mind, Theory

It has been several days since I published anything on this blog. All my attempts to blame this on something have failed miserably.

My first excuse was that I didn't have enough time, but then i realized that I've watched several episodes of The Simpsons and other meaningless TV-shows. I could have used that time to blog, but I didn't.

My next excuse was that I didn't have anything to write about that would fit the topic of this blog. But when thinking about it I soon realized that there had been a massive raid on and tons of media coverage and all of it had to do with freedom. Besides that I've been to two weddings watching happy couples exchange "ball and chain" with each other, this also fits my topic.
So why haven't I been writing?

I took a couple of days to meditate on this topic. I started seeing a pattern in my life. I have been trying to clean my apartment for 6 months but still haven’t done it. I have been trying to do my last exams but I still haven’t done that either. I have been trying to fix my bike and my bathroom sink but their both still broken. It seams there’s a pattern here. I started thinking about this and how this is affecting me and my life and figured that it’s mostly influencing me in a very negative way. So how, how do I break this pattern, how do I stop procrastinating everything in my life?

In the days following this discovery I meditated on my past, on things I had been procrastinating, things which I finally did. I came up with several; the most resent was starting my taijutsu training another one was starting to ride my bike to work. I enjoy both of these things heavily today but it took me forever to actually start doing them.

I grouped all the things I could come up with and tried to find the common event that eventually triggered me to do them. At first I couldn’t figure it out but then I saw something or rather I saw nothing. What actually made me do stuff was just doing it. Could it be so simple? If I just motivated myself and started doing something, if I just took that first step, I usually saw that the road wasn’t actually that long and the goal was usually closer then I initially thought.

I took my new found knowledge and applied it to a couple of things; I bought the parts needed to fix my bike and guess what? It’s fixed now. Another brilliant example is this post, I just sat myself down and thought now I will write something, and I did.

I’m still not sure that this is THE solution but it’s A solution. I’ll let you know how it’s going and I can seriously recommend everyone having an issue with their behavior (or non-behavior) to think about why you are doing it and what (if anything) in your past has stopped you from doing it. Then you can take that knowledge and apply it actively next time you encounter your undesired behavior.